We web devel­op­ers, in effort to cre­ate a more per­fect work­ing envi­ron­ment do hereby draft this manifesto:

“I must cre­ate order where order does not exist, lest I be enslaved by the chaos that such order would stave” — Ryan Huff

I.) If you can’t under­stand, “why it takes that long to develop” then by all means, do it your­self and see how far you get.

II.) Despite pop­u­lar lore we are not more effi­cient the more you, ‘stay on top of us’. I know, I know … The, ‘How to Man­age Devel­op­ers’ guide that you found on the Inter­net lied!

III.) Just because it looks sim­ple doesn’t mean it is sim­ple. The whole idea of devel­op­ment is to reduce com­plex­ity into simplicity.

IV.) Don’t hire devel­op­ers for your com­pany until you have bought 3 cof­fee pots and a mini fridge for the office first.

V.) We really do not like meet­ings, just IM us. Don’t eFail us either … eFail is a bro­ken form of com­mu­ni­ca­tion and it takes us longer to check eFail than if you would just IM us.

VI.) If you derail us in the mid­dle of throw­ing down code ninja style .… expect unpleas­ant reactions.

VII.) For every minute you dis­tract us from our code, it will take us two min­utes to regain our focus.

VIII.) AJAX IS NOT a pro­gram­ming lan­guage. It is a tech­nol­ogy process and/or abra­sive house­hold cleaner. If you didn’t know that then you are for­bid­den from using the term ever again.

IX.) Did you hire us to stop every 5 min­utes in our code and explain to you why and how it works the way it does or did you hire us to throw down some code and get your app to market?

X.) Do not speak to us in the morn­ing until we have had 2 or more cups of cof­fee. Or just don’t speak to us at all … tweet or IM.

XI.) If you use the term, “Web 2.0″ as a noun or verb OR adjoin the term to the let­ters, ‘ize’ one more time we will ignore you you, your chil­dren, your children’s chil­dren and their chil­dren (and all of your dogs too).

XII.) We need coffee.

XIII.) Ooooo look … out the win­dow .… a squirrel .…

XIV.) You sign our pay­checks, we make the prod­ucts that allow you to sign our paycheck.

XV.) Real devel­op­ers do not waste time acquir­ing cer­ti­fi­ca­tions, they are meaningless.

Please remem­ber to hug your favorite devel­oper today, with­out them you would not have an Inter­net to surf.